We owned a piece of property, and because everyone was getting high and going to the casino, nobody was paying the mortgage. There was a casino there, too, and meth and gambling went hand in hand. When I went back to my hometown in California, I ended up living in the methamphetamine capital of the country at the time.

Because that the way it was for me –it all went together. And honestly, I can’t even say that you can go out and gamble and not end up hooked on drugs again. You’re getting in debt, maxing out your cards, doing the same thing and getting the same results, every time. If someone in recovery asks me about gambling, I would tell them that when you have an addictive personality, it’s just like doing drugs. That’s when I got help for the gambling, and things got a lot better. And I knew that that would destroy my life. I have a nice house now, a family, a good job, and I realized that gambling was like putting rock on the pipe and pulling it. I’m playing games, rushing, scratching, all discombobulated. I can remember what it was like to do drugs, and gambling was the same for me. I’d go to a Keno hall or a casino, and I’d say to myself, “I’ll just try out $40,” but then I’d spend all that I had in my pocket, and then take out my credit card and drop another $500. That’s what they call a secondary addiction: when you deal with your drug problem, but get hooked on things that aren’t illegal, like drinking and gambling.Īnd let me tell you, gambling just took off with me. I did develop some severe problems gambling, though. What that means is that I haven’t had the need to use a mind-altering substance since 2010. But they need to know it’s another form of addiction. I wouldn’t tell them “don’t do it,” because that sometimes makes people want to do it even more. If I met someone at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and they told me they’re going to a casino, I would tell them: be careful, because gambling is another form of addiction. All that stuff has an impact on your life – I wish I’d listened to my mother a little more closely!

I go to meetings, and I also go to different schools and talk to kids about getting high, and how peer pressure and boredom can make you a victim – whether it’s gambling, whether it’s drugs. You go in with your head up, you come out and your head’s down, and then you continue going back and taking chances. That outdid when I was using heroin – that’s how bad I felt. But when you lose $15,000 on a single weekend in Vegas, you know there’s something wrong. I never thought I had a gambling problem, I thought it was more of an enjoyment.

We lost everything gambling on shares